I got in from work tonight at midnight on what should be an ordinary night. However, living with a chronic disease means that there is no such thing as normal anymore. What I wouldn't give to be able to wake up and jump out of bed attacking the morning any way I choose to or simply stand up and take off walking after sitting down for more than 15 minutes. I would love to be able to play basketball again (we still have the goal up and two basketballs in the garage, when I do feel like shooting a few I usually don't feel like chasing the ball down), go for a run around the neighborhood or play golf again.
Instead I sit here tonight with a full body flare up. I really have no room to complain, it has been a while since I have experienced one. I am used to living with the pain but I don't think I will ever adjust to dealing with the fatigue part. Tonight at work as soon as a roll would splice off, it would take everything I had just to make myself stand up and start walking to the press. My hips, knees, shoulders, hands and feet are all equally dividing up the abuse while my right ankle does not want to bend and my neck has been cracking and popping. I assume this is my RA multi-tasking.
I think perhaps the hardest part of living with RA for me has been the fact that I have shut down my emotions in order to survive. I just bought a new motorcycle 3 weeks ago and I've just not been that excited about it. For that, I truly hate you RA.
Spring will soon be here bringing warm weather, longer days and some good rides. I am ready for spring but for now I will just live out my winter hibernation ritual ... work, sleep, work, sleep.