Tuesday, March 8, 2011


I received a call from one of my best friends two nights ago.  His wife is just starting her journey with Humira.  This got me started thinking back to when I was diagnosed eight years ago.  There are a wide range of emotions when dealt the blow that you will live your life out with a chronic disease. Acceptance is perhaps the most difficult but the most important to overcome. With acceptance, you not only live better "with" your disease, but you also lose the hopelessness, feeling of unfairness and denial of the disease. You actually put yourself back in control.
Once that is accomplished, that isn't to say that you still won't have moments of anger or frustration, those are to be expected, but you will be much better off once you can.
Acceptance didn't come quickly or easy for me.  I don't imagine that I'll ever be pain free again, I just don't think much about that anymore. I simply take life one day at a time now and be thankful for what I can still do.
My visit with my rheumatologist went well this week.  It took me a little longer than most patients to feel the full effects of Humira.  I am back to working out with weights consistently and walking everyday again.  That in its self will make you feel better.  I am also continuing on my nightshade experiment.  Overall, I feel about as good as I have felt since being diagnosed.


mallen said...

Acceptance isn't always easy and I do have "down" days. But I think I accepted RA pretty quickly, because I was just glad that someone believed what I was saying and had a reason for it. Hope you are doing well.

Anonymous said...

Praise God you are feeling good, Terry. I am so, so happy to hear that. Your previous posts conveyed pain. You were in my prayers.

This is a wonderful post about acceptance. So well written. There is indeed victory with acceptance because like you said, we are back in control. It just makes living more enjoyable and care-free in a strange sense. Blessings to you, my brother!

Squirrel said...

How great that you're feeling the benefits of the meds! Hope it last a long long time.

Acceptance is a funny one, it's only been a year and a half for me and I usually think I have accepted it but I reckon if my disease were to progress, I'd have to go through the whole process all over again. Hope your friend gets on ok!

tharr said...

Hello Mallen, glad to hear you overcame it quickly, it took me a while to accept it. It makes a difference when you have people that believe you. Hope you are doing well also.

tharr said...

Kelli, thank you, I have had my "downs", I'm ready for a few "ups" for a while. Thank you for your concern and prayers, they are deeply appreciated.

Squirrel, been on the "pain train" for a while, glad I got off of it. Glad you have accepted it and moved on, I understand what you mean though. It's easy to want to fight it when it rears it's ugly head again.

Lana said...

Acceptance is a tough road. We don’t realize how much better off we will be until we actually get there. It is a road we have to take. Glad to hear the Humira is working for you. The nightshade reduction should make a difference and you will start to notice that difference and you will be happy that you did that.

tharr said...

Hey Lana, it took me a while to overcome acceptance, but like you say I am better off now. I really like how I feel after being on Humira for nearly 6 months. I'm still excited about my nightshade experiment, seems to be helping more than anything else I have tried.

Anonymous said...

Hey Terry
I do as best as I can when I can. I guess that is my version of acceptance. For two weeks I have been able to do my little work out on the total gym, it's not much but the first time in nearly a year that I have been able to keep it up this long. I just finished up filleting the perch that I caught on Sunday to finally end the ice fishing. We had a 50 degree day here and I had a nice long walk with my wife after work. I hope that spring happens for you soon. So glad to hear you sounding positive these days. As always you have my best wishes and hopes that you will soon be bouncing along the back roads.
Phil from Syracuse

mary said...

Acceptance..hmmm that is a tough one. I don't know that I will ever totally accept that this is the way it has to be forever. I will always hold out for a med that can take the pain away. I was lucky enough to have a drug induced near remission a few years ago and it lasted a good long time. I have to believe that that will happen again. That's what keeps me going.

When I lost that remission the sudden crushing pain took my breath away. Right back to where I was 24 years ago when I was first diagnosed. I accept this for the time being but I believe in remission!! Yep I’m gonna be that old lady with double knee replacements still holding out for a remission.

tharr said...

Phil, for me it's not about how much I can work out (I would love to put in longer days with more weight and reps) but just doing what I can. It's great that you are able to work out again, just take it slow and build up. I bet the perch tasted good! Nothing like fresh fish. It's 83 here today! Woohooo

Mary, glad to hear you had relief from it for a while. I have personally given up hoping for remission for myself. Ha, I just had a vision of an old lady with new knees riding a bicycle!