There comes a time where life quits giving and starts taking from you. I sometimes feel that I am reaching that point. Perhaps it is not so much life, as it is the RA, but I have been so fatigued and numb this year, I simply do not feel like doing anything. I have to literally fight to put one foot in front of the other, I don't feel like going to work, mowing or cleaning the house. I didn't even ride my bike last week and just barely have been on the computer.
I keep making excuses for myself, saying that I will feel better in another week or two. But it doesn't seem to ever get here.
I have a ride planned for in the morning. I pushed myself to prep my bike this morning, got some fresh fuel, I have my back pack and gear bag ready. Normally, I would be chomping at the bit to get up in the morning and hit the woods. I sit here ready to go because I love riding, love my KTM and I know I will have a good time, but I'm just not excited like I should be.
My life with RA and Humira seems to be up and down. On most of my days off, with the exception of the fatigue, I feel ok. I think that most of you with RA know "ok", you don't feel like you want to, especially not like healthy people do, but you have felt worse so you're not complaining. I have no doubt that if I didn't work, I would feel much better. But, I love my family, my house and my toys. I'm not ready to quit my job and live under an overpass just yet. But I do know where a nice one is that is not occupied.