I have now been on Orencia for 5 months and can tell a big difference from last year after the Enbrel quit working. I am probably feeling about as good as I ever will with RA, still by no means "normal" when compared to healthy people. I would love to be able to put some running shoes on and go for a run before heading to work, or hop on my Cannondale road bike and put in a 50 mile ride again with Mike. But, I know thats not going to happen, so I just don't think about that part of my life anymore. I hear a lot of people talking about remission from RA, I am not convinced it exists. Sometimes the fatigue and weakness that I feel is worse that the swelling and joint pain. I hate the numbness, sometimes I am so numb that I cannot even feel happiness, I'm just going through the motions of life. I really hate that RA takes such a vital part of our life away from us, that we have to emotionally shut ourselves off sometimes just to survive day to day.
I have actually had 2 totally healthy co-workers tell me that "they wished they had what I have". They would file for disability and quit work. Imagine being envied by a perfectly healthy person that can go do anything they want with no repercussions from your body. Bottom line, most people are just flat out ignorant about our disease.
In my younger years, I was never accused of being a cautious person. From rock climbing and repelling, I have climbed a couple of water towers (remember those things?), mountain bikes and racing motorcycles. Mike set me on fire one weekend, although he claims it was an accident. lol Mike, Randall and I were nearly thrown out of a hotel at Tulsa once for having a mountain bike in one of our rooms ... well, ok, maybe it was because we were jumping the mountain bike up onto the beds or jumping the bike (attempting to anyway) over Mike's toolbox in the room.
I write about my RA because it is a part of my life now. I didn't ask for it, it just showed up one day uninvited. As much as I am determined to not let RA control me, I have to admit it has definitely changed who I am. I still occasionally will think about what I would be doing if I didn't have RA.